MEANING OF “So Called” LOVE

MEANING OF “So Called” LOVE

Love !! A Four Letter word that Brings a Half Curved smile on the faces.But What Is love ?

Love !! Indeed is a very arresting word but very difficult to understand and even more difficult when it comes to explaining it. It is often misinterpreted as an twitchy feeling that one feels about someone.

Love is affection,caring,attachment,liking,emotion,worships,devotion, etc.Love is the Cement that strengthens the bond between humans.For me Itself, in itself cannot be defined with some few words.

Though Today..the true significance has slightly changed or in other words we can say state of mind of people has changed. But it’s meaning has not changed.The only things got changed is the attitude and behavior of people.Love is often Searched through Dating Websites (In some cases it works out well but In most it doesn’t ) Love Is Developed over a Long Period of time.

Yes, there are those few cases of "love at first site," but this is a very rare occurrence and shouldn't be someone's first priority to claim their love the first moment they see them. Love is when you would do anything to be able to see this person. It is when you jump in front of a car and push your love out of the way to save their life. It is when you can't stand one moment without him/her. It is when you think about him/her the first moment you wake up and the last second before you sleep at night.

Love can not be duplicated. Love is love and everything else. The word should not be thrown around like a piece of meet, but preserved for that special someone who will not leave you for another woman or man and would do anything for you to be with them and you the same.

Save the word for the right person. Preserve the meaning of love and use it towards those who deserve it.

LOVE AND INDIAN SOCIETY: A LIVELY DEPICTION WITH NURSERY RHYMES

Love has been a four lettered word in conservative Indian households for more reasons than just the actual letter count. But that was 30 years back. Things have been changing rapidly with the onset of globalization. But India is a complex multilayer-d  society with the changes penetrating at varied extent at different strata levels in an already highly heterogeneous society. So what I would attempt is to present how a typical conformist individual from a conservative middle class family would find love. I have tried to use the medium of English nursery rhymes to portray the same to keep the narrative a bit lively.

Let us start where it all begins: when the parents feel their children have reached marriageable age.

Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner,
Eating a Christmas pie;
He put in his thumb,
And pulled out a plum,
And said 'What a good boy am I”

At this stage, the boy and girls are rather naive and obedient. Or at least the parents expect them to be so. At this point, the process begins. The parents approach a matchmaker/relatives.

Match maker, Match Maker, where have you been?
I've been down to Chennai to visit the girls’ dad keen.
Match maker, Match Maker, what did you there?
I frightened a little girl, under her chair

Once the match maker finds a match, the parents of the boy and the girl interact.

Bah, Bah a black Sheep,
Have you any Wool?
Yes merry have I,
Three Bags full,
One for my master,
One for my Dame,
One for the little Boy
That lives down the lane

The black sheep (the girl’s dad) promises goodies for the master (the boy’s dad), the dame (the boy’s mom) and the little boy who lives down the lane. (The bridegroom) Next it is time to introduce another key actor in the process: the astrologer.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky

The astrologer consults the stars and decides if the stars want the marriage to take place or not and on what date and time. With this done, we move to the next phase: the girl and the boy begin to interact over the phone. The girl is very curious about her future husband.

Johnny Johnny
Yes papa
Alcohol?
No papa.
Smoking?
No papa
Girlfriends?
Ha ha ha

Once this phase gets over, we approach the actual day of the marriage.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again

On the day of the wedding the bridegroom would be placed on the marriage altar in front of the fire place like Humpty Dumpty. And who said one can only fall in love? One can fall in marriage as well. Once he is into it, his whole life changes and no one can put him together again. With the marriage done, the girls’ parents sadly bid farewell to their daughter.

Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep,
And can't tell where to find them;
Leave them alone, And they'll come home,
Wagging their tails behind them
The girls’ parents are left feeling like Little Bo-Peep having lost their daughter as the daughter heads for the honeymoon with her husband.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

With the budgetary constraints of a middle class family, the honeymoon can be a bit too adventurous at times and the newly married Jack and Jill may have to overcome quite some obstacles. And then tiding through various obstacles they manage to sail through one full year.

Mary had a little lamb,
little lamb, little lamb,
Mary had a little lamb,
whose fleece was white as snow.

The stork comes and delivers the little lamb to the family as love finally begins to blossom between the couple.

With such a long and elaborate pre love process, no wonder from here on love has only one direction to go.
Though I don't agree that marriages in India last longer than those abroad. That is simply because women abroad are financially and emotionally more independent than women in India. And they KNOW that marriage is not everything. Indian women on the other hand, believe they have no choice, and certainly no world beyond their 'pati-dev' therefore they just put up with everything.

Again, we are confusing marriage with love. Just because a couple is married need not mean they are in love. They just agree to tolerate one another ;-) in easy companionship. OR for the sake of their children!!! neither of these means they are in love :-) with each other. Anyways Indian women are changing too... But it would be an Long process to break the myths.

THERE IS ALWAYS A RAINBOW AFTER THE RAIN

This is your life, hold on tight.

Nobody in life is ever perfect. We make mistakes at every step and these mistakes only define and mould us. Our hearts have their own mindsets which is way beyond difficult to Change. Nobody here is really judge-mental still they try to judge the book by its cover and often lead to interpretations. Often in life we get a heartbreak.

Especially in this young age: A disastrous heartbreak , a sad rejection, continuous ignorance, failures in life goals, maybe not getting into that place you want, it seems as if we are failing this test of life. We let ourselves down in every other way. All we could do is find fault in ourselves. We wander in the search of perfectness and all we get is more and more rejection in life. Because our definition of perfect doesn't even exist in reality. We always feel disappointed, brought down and discouraged. But actually our mistake and stupidities make us realize a lot, it makes us a lot stronger person from inside. We get a lot to learn.

Life is full of lessons and mysteries. Achieving perfection is nothing but a myth. Only way we can achieve it is by making our own meaning of it. We are only humans. We hurt ourselves, hurt others, smile, make others smile, make mistakes, have insecurities, moments of joy, hidden pains and secrets, love and get broken and want to reach the top. Life is what you Make of it. You only get that back. Life shouldn't be wasted on thinking how perfect it could be. People can blabber all day all night about miseries and give you advices about your life but in the end all that matters is your own decisions and beliefs. Even after laying the blue prints you need to work hard to execute the plan. Maybe your life may not go as you wanted it to because God is giving you something way better and maybe while crying for that one closed door you may not realize hundred open ones. Never lose hope.

THERE IS ALWAYS A RAINBOW AFTER THE RAIN. Same is in our life too. Don't regret when you get too old, because you are only getting this life once. Make the most of it. Cry for the loss but don't let it overpower you. Let it make you stronger.

So from today start loving life and accepting it as it comes.

The Beauty Of A Woman: A Poem

The beauty of a woman
isn't in the clothes she wears,
The figure that she carries,
or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman
must be seen from in her eyes;
Because that's the doorway to her heart,
the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman
isn't in a facial mole;
But true beauty in a woman,
is reflected by her soul.

It's the caring that she cares to give,
the passion that she shows;
And the beauty of a woman
with passing years only grows.

The Strength Of a MAN: A Nice Poem

The strength of a man
isn't seen in the width
of his shoulders.
It's seen in the width
of his arms that circle you..

The strength of a man
isn't in the deep tone
of his voice.
It's in the gentle
words he whispers...

The strength of a man
isn't how many buddies he has.
It's how good a buddy
he is with his kids...

The strength of a man isn't
in how respected he is at work.
It's in how respected
he is at home...

The strength of a man
isn't in how hard he hits.
It's in how tender
he touches...

The strength of a man
isn't in the hair on his chest.
It's in his Heart,
that lies within his chest...

The strength of a man
isn't how many women he's loved.
It's in can he be
true to one woman...

The strength of a man
isn't in the weight he can lift.
It's in the burdens
he can carry...